The F Word

Jesus answered "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times – Matthew 18:22

It's one of those words that carry mass amounts of power. When you say it, and you mean it, others take notice. And it is potentially the most life changing word to the person on the other end of it.

Forgiven.

If you are a Jesus follower, you must realize that forgiveness isn't simply just another program Christians open when they need it, and close when they're done making a decision. No, forgiveness is the entire operating system of the Jesus follower, powered by love. (And I admit, I borrowed some of that analogy from Pastor Steve Furtick). Yet I wonder how many of us go through each day with a damaged or weighted heart because forgiveness is not operating the way it should be. Either that we feel we have been wronged, or we know we have wronged someone else. And in either case, if forgiveness isn't acted upon immediately the consequences can be debilitating. UN-forgiveness can distort how you view yourself. It can severely damage your relationship with others. And it will hinder your relationship with God.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you…..FIRST go and be reconciled to your brother – Matthew 5:23-24

I would like to share two (hopefully short) experiences I've had with the power of forgiveness (and the debilitation of UN-forgiveness). First is an experience that I'm not exactly proud of, but God used it as a great time of learning and understanding. Last summer I felt as though a very close friend of mine had misused and betrayed my trust. And after confronting the issue, we both apologized and I said I "forgive" you. And I did….I thought? Didn't I? Well, as time went on, my mind kept running those things through my head every now and then. And whenever I saw my friend, those would be the first things I thought of, and every interaction seemed to be weighted down (in MY heart) by what had already been "forgiven."Long story short, after about FOUR MONTHS of this, our relationship had become very strained. And it was on this brink of completely coming apart from my friend that I realized, something was still wrong….and that something was in me. For so long, even after "forgiving" my friend, I held onto the whole "you betrayed my trust" thing, that it eventually lead to ME being the offender. I was the one who had the distorted view of our friendship all of a sudden (it wasn't really all of a sudden, but it felt like it in the moment it hit me). And when that hit me, I was heartbroken. I had been guilty of the very thing I was so angry at my friend for doing, betraying our friendship. I didn't know what to do. I felt like everything had fallen to pieces, and now realized it was more my fault than I had taken credit for. In fact, in this moment, now, it was MOSTLY my fault, for harboring these thoughts that I assured my friend I had "forgiven" them of. I broke down and asked God to forgive me (which btw, my relationship with God had been affected in a negative way because of this too). And He pointed me to the verse above. So I immediately set out to be reconciled. THAT night we had a Skype chat (Skype = God send), and I told them everything. How I had held onto for far too long what had happened last summer. How even though this may not have started with me, I was the one in the wrong. It was my fault our friendship had fallen to hell. And with tears literally pouring down my face onto my keyboard, I poured my heart into forgiving my friend, and asking for the forgiveness I so did NOT deserve. I'll spare you all the details, but the next time we saw each other was one of those sissy fairytale moments if there ever was one. We made eye contact and stood for a moment. Then slowly, with each step moving faster, we went toward each other and hugged for the first time in what felt like forever. As we let go, we looked in each other's eyes and saw something different. Something that should have already been there. Something real. Forgiveness.

The second experience I have with forgiveness is also one I will most likely never forget, both for the impact it had, AND, the package in which God chose to deliver the message. I was playing Frisbee out in our church parking lot with some friends one time. One of them had a little sister who tagged along. She was only five, and I had known her long enough, she was as if a little sister to me also. But because we were using a bigger and heavier Frisbee than she could throw, she mostly just ran around in between all of us while we threw in the circle we were standing in. Yes, I know you can see where this is going. Well, as fate would have it, one of the people playing made a bad throw in my direction, so I took off after it. Now, I'm not the fastest runner in the world, but I can move pretty quickly because I can transfer my momentum very quickly. After about the second step I was fully "momentumized" heading toward the Frisbees errant direction. (Remember, little 5 year old girl randomly running around). And after about the third step, all of my momentum transferred from my right forearm into……this little girls face. I didn't see her, and she cut in front of me at the last second. I kind of caught her and scooped her up, as I plowed her over, so she wouldn't fall onto the hard pavement (points for trying right?!). I asked if she was ok and apologized, and she said yeah…no tears or anything. Cool, game on. Well, 30 seconds later she went up to her big sister crying about a nose bleed. Oh boy. So I went over and sure enough, it was bleeding. I picked her up and carried her laying back (so as not to get blood on her new white shirt…as if mom wouldn't have been upset as it is) inside to get it cleaned up. For about five minutes I cleaned her face and got her paper towels and sat there to hold them and her, all the while constantly apologizing. And THEN! In one of the most profound moments of my life to date, with bloody towels in one hand, she reached up and put her other hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and with the same determination I was trying to apologize with she started saying "Nate I forgive you" "I still love you" "It's ok I forgive you" "It doesn't matter I still love you." I have never in my life seen another person who, after I had wronged them, was SO concerned about letting me know it was ok. She was more concerned about making sure I knew things were ok between us, that nothing had changed the fact that she loved me, that even though I had made her hurt and bleed she didn't want that to affect our friendship, than she was about the fact that she was hurt and bleeding. Oh. My. Word. From a five year old girl nonetheless. If I have ever seen a picture of REAL forgiveness, the forgiveness that Jesus offers us, it was in this little girl's eyes that night. That. No. Matter. What. Had. Happened. "I. FORGIVE. You. And. I. STILL. Love. YOU."

And now I ask; where do you stand? Is forgiveness operating in your life? Who has wronged you, and you just "can't" seem to let go of it? I URGE you, find them and be reconciled. Who have you wronged, and haven't had the courage to face and ask for forgiveness? I URGE you, find them and BE FLIPPIN' RECONCILED! Where ever you stand, I URGE you, please don't let pride imprison the power you have to prevent things from falling to pieces. Jesus demonstrated for us ultimate forgiveness by dying on the cross for us (father forgive them anyone?), and all we have to do is accept that forgiveness He offered and all our sins will be erased, and we will be in right standing with God. God knew the answer to relational turmoil was the operating system of forgiveness. And so I urge us to utilize that system, whether it be with yourself, with others, or with God. Where ever the need be, I urge you, watch your heart, and don't be afraid to use the F word.

Forgiveness is the key which unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness – Corrie Ten Boom

Fortune Cookies

"I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever" – Psalm 86:12

When I came to the conclusion that I needed to write this blog, I had many ideas and thoughts on how to keep things fresh. One idea was that periodically I would post the lyrics to a song that had impacted me that week. I know we all know the words to that one awesome song, but sometimes actually seeing the words right in front of you can have a great(er) impact. Another idea was to possibly dig into the many notebooks I've kept over the years, and bring out a rare gem of my ingenious insight! (Just kidding, I am far from being a genius, and my sight isn't always "in"). And while I do have a Revelatious thought for this week, I would like to share something out of one particular notebook. It's one a dear sister in Christ gave me for my birthday a few years back. It's a plain brown notebook, small, nothing special. Inside the cover she wrote "Here is a sturdy journal to keep all the thoughts and songs that come to you. May God continue to send you many!" This was the first thing I wrote in that notebook, on the very next page. I called it: Fortune Cookies….

The sweeter taste of words less spoken
Trembling now my lips are frozen

Silent are my helpless cries
As tears of joy escape my eyes

A love so strong set to amaze
As bloodshed sets my heart ablaze

For Jesus now my heart is driven
The freedom truth, that all was given

For in a day the Lamb was slain
A morphine for my reckless pain

A thunder strike, a shattered veil
A risen King for all to hail

Hold the future, our decision
At the intersection of salvation

To follow straight, find streets of gold
To take the lead, our death behold

Three steps past Satan's scarecrow
My path now holds straight and narrow

New friends rise not from this place
Past allies look not at my face

"To give my life?"……I had to pause
"Yes I will!"……I know because

Cookies crumble and fortunes fade
But my future now HIS life will make

"Teach me you way, LORD, the I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name" – Psalm 86:11

Eat It

"So also faith, if it does not have works (deeds and actions of obedience to back it up), by itself is destitute of power (inoperative, dead)." – James 2:17

Have you ever doubted someone before? (yes). Has anyone ever doubted you? (yes). Before we go any further, IF you are unsure, let me give you some key phrases. There may be doubt in your life if you have ever asked(said) or been asked(told):

"Umm…."
"Well…"
"Are you sure?"
"Prove it!?"

Prove it. Man. I could talk about THOSE two words all day. For many (and by many I mean ALL) of us, we like to see things "proven" before we commit to believe or accept them. I have a question for you, ready? Say you loved spaghetti (and you had better!! ….just kidding, I don't care what you eat J), could you, WITHOUT SPEAKING, prove you loved spaghetti? How? (I can hear all the "DUH'S!!" coming through the screen now). You would EAT IT wouldn't you? But of course, if you only ate alone, no one else would know. You would have to eat spaghetti in front of other people for them to catch on. At first, they probably wouldn't even care. But I'll bet (not really, gambling is bad), if you ate enough spaghetti, in front of enough people, NO ONE would doubt that you loved spaghetti. You wouldn't have left them any room for doubt. Ready for small story time?

I was eating dinner with a family from my church one evening. Right before dinner the mother asked me "We are having salmon tonight, do you like salmon?" Now, when she asked, it took about ALL of my self control to keep from jumping out of my shoes, because I love salmon! I could feel my face get rather tight from the smile that was growing under my nose, and after a rather loud gasp (yes, I actually gasped), I said in a high pitch voice "YES!" I was so excited! But then, a rather strange thing happened. Unmoved by my reaction she asked "Are you sure?" WHAT!? Am I sure?! Of course I'm sure!! I had never been more sure about anything in my life!! I. LOVE. SALMON!! So what on earth would make her ask me SUCH a silly question? Well a few things. One, there are a lot of people who don't like to eat fish. Two, even for people who do eat fish, salmon has a very unique flavor to it….some people may not like. Three, there are always going to be people who will, in an effort to keep the peace, not tell the whole truth (or sometimes any of it)….especially when it comes to a dinner that someone else is making for them. So it was in fact, a very fair question to pose. I assured her several times it was definitely ok with me. We sat down, a hearty salmon fillet on my plate. We bowed our heads to pray, and when we looked back up, my salmon had vanished! Ok… I didn't eat it THAT fast. But, I did have it finished before she could ask me if I liked it. I looked at my empty plate with a smile and said "are you talking to me?" (true story… I'm working on my manners, pray for me). She smiled and said "wow, ok then!" Doubt. Gone. Erased. No more.

Can the same thing be said about YOUR faith in Jesus? (this is a question I asked myself; don't think I'm excluding myself here). When people hear that you believe in God, and you have a LIVING relationship with Christ, do they say "WOW! You sure do!" ….or do they question….. "Are you sure?" (and no, people probably don't actually talk like that…..but they think it….promise). The bible says that because we have this hope, we are VERY bold – 2 Corinthians 3:12. Are you bold with your faith? Do you leave NO room for doubt? We have been entrusted with the most precious treasure this world will EVER know! But if the world doesn't ever SEE it, how will they know? It is good to speak about your faith. But hearing will only go so far. The world needs to SEE Jesus in us, no more hidden candles. The world NEEDS to see God working in this mess. Imagine what that mother would have thought had I so boldly stated "I love Salmon"…. "I believe in Salmon" ….. "I have a relationship with Salmon" ……and then only ate one or two bites and let the rest sit on my plate to be thrown out. It's almost a certainty that she would instantly discredit my love for salmon, and probably never make it for me again. Yet so often, we do the same thing with our faith. We speak, but our actions don't represent. Sure we nibble here and there, eat around the edges and stuff. But how many of us can really say we are digging into the real meat of our faith? That our giving isn't just a "special occasion", but happens daily because we have faith God will provide all our needs. That loving isn't just for those who love us back. That being forgiven of EVERYTHING means forgiving EVERYTHING. That our yes actually MEANS yes, and our no actually MEANS no, ALL THE TIME.

Here are some things I have done (tried to do) this week:
- Be loving to the people I work with….all of them
- Invite new friends to church
- Take time to have conversations with people I thought could use some encouragement
- Bought dinner for complete strangers
- Became friends with said strangers
- Asked people, believers or not, if I could pray for them…..then actually prayed for them
- Gave a man on the street, two days removed from prison, money for the bus (which he asked for) and money for dinner (which he did not) and prayed for him

Now, I'm not saying these things to commend myself, truly I am not. In fact, I have as much growing in Christ to do as the next person. But I share these things because they ALLLLLLLL stem from the same well! My faith in Jesus Christ! These are not things a "normal" person does. These are things, acts (short for actions…just for the record), driven by my love and faith in a loving faithful God. I did not do any of those things this week TO have faith; I did them BECAUSE I have faith. And don't think you have to go out and do any of these same things. The point I am making is that when our faith is TRULY alive, when the Holy Spirit is TRULY able to move freely in your life, these things just happen. When your living faith lets the living God work through you, God will create for you your own "list of things you DID this week." And for those of you who feel God tugging at your heart throughout the week to move, but you fight it, scared of what might happen if you were to approach a stranger, or attempt to befriend an enemy, or give of your finances, here are your encouraging words: STOP IT! Fear not! God WILL honor those with everything those who honor Him with everything!

I might just be speaking nonsense, but I think it's time we visited that city on a hill (Matthew 5:14). In fact, I think it's time we just relocated there. We need to start being better "doers" of the word. Not with the goal to prove anything, because we will surely fail to do so if that be our goal. But because we love God, with the goal of pleasing Him. And in doing so, we will erase the doubt and replace the faith. It's time to starting eating the meat of what it means to have a WALK with Christ (notice you've never heard the phrase "my sit with Christ"). Let us not nibble around and leave most to waste. It's time we really dig in to our bibles, dig in to our faith, and dig in to our Most High God. Bon Appétit!!

"You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did." – James 2:22

Bottoms Up (part 2)

"But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" – Romans 5:8

As I was thinking about the people God had placed in my life, and who I thought I could show love to most effectively, Romans 5:8 kept popping into my head. "WHILE we were sinners." WHILE? Like….in the act of STILL BEING a sinner? Man, that takes courage. That takes boldness. That takes faith. That takes….love. And while I was thinking about my list, I believe God whispered something into my ear;

"Start from the bottom."

"WHAT!? You're crazy God. That means I have to show REAL love to the people I REALLY don't love!? THAT co-worker?! THAT Family member!? THAT classmate?! THAT poor excuse for a…..wait a minute. I really wasn't the best example of anything when the brave, courageous, faithful, loving, God fearing people in my life started showing me love...God's love…..Your love." *sigh*

I started thinking about all the angles of starting at the bottom. Don't we always pray for things like "humbleness" and "wisdom" and "faith"? Well, what better opportunity to receive these things than by allowing God to use you to reach those people at the bottom of your list? What about the "after shock" affect? Chances are GOOD that if someone is at the bottom of your list, everyone else knows that (be honest). SO, if you were to turn the love afterburners on towards this person, not only would they see it, but everyone else would as well. Sure you can show real love to the people you love…..DUH. If I was to go visit a friend in the hospital, it's very unlikely people would say "WOW! Now THAT is crazy love!" BUT, if I was to let that kid I don't get along with go first, if I was to invite that co-worker that's difficult to work with over to my next barbeque, people would notice. At first, it might seem awkward. It might even seem to them like your giving off that "fake love" this world knows all too well. But, what if you (we) kept at it? What if we put their needs above our own? What if we cared more for God's plan for their lives than we cared for our plan for ours? What IF we LOVED our neighbors (and for some of you, that's who's on the bottom of your list)?

God placed this challenge on my heart, to love those, most unlikely to receive my love. That doesn't mean neglecting anyone else, anywhere else, in my life. Just simply to give extra special attention to those I wouldn't normally give it to. I have already started this in a few areas of my life. And If I could encourage you this: DO NOT GIVE UP!!! In one particular case at first, it was just as I had expected, awkward and uncomfortable. I tried all day, one day this week, to really love someone I would not normally show love towards. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would be very close to the bottom of their list, as I feel more tension from this person than anything. And all day….nothing changed. I ended the day a little disheartened. But I felt God urging me on, "Don't give up my son. Real love, the kind this world needs, stands strong, and never gives up. And, my son, real love never fails." Needless to say I did my best again the next day to show love towards that person. And a funny thing happened…we got along J We are by no means best friends now. We didn't exchange phone numbers or have an "I'm sorry" hug. We simply, got along. And I wonder, would that have happened if I didn't let God use me to show love? Would that relationship ever have gotten better? I know it's a small step, but think on this: A slight change in angle over a short distance doesn't seem to show much variation, but over a long distance a slight difference of angle could mean hundreds or thousands of miles difference in destination.

So just imagine how much impact 180 degrees could have on your life. And the life of those around you! I am so very thankful, first to God, and then to a key few people who have shown me real love. Those who weren't afraid to step out of their comfort zone. Those who were willing to give their time to me. Those who genuinely cared for my thoughts and concerns, and who helped me understand and attain what I NEEDED, not what I wanted. I was at the bottom of the list. And God saw fit, through Jesus, through His word, and through people to love me anyways. I am very great full for that love and now, I am going to choose to give that love to EVERYONE God has placed in my life. I invite you to do the same. To God be the glory and honor, a toast. Bottoms up J

 

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me'" – Matthew 25:40

Bottoms Up (part 1)

"On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink." – Romans 12:20

Have you ever felt loved? Like….for real, TRULY loved? Not superficial "I love you right now as long as you act this way or think this way or do these things, but as soon as you aren't everything I want you to be, I'll be focusing my "love" elsewhere" love, but genuine "I care for your needs, I believe you have value, I erase all offenses, I accept you for you, I desire the best for you……..all while expecting nothing in return" love. I can tell you I've been on both sides of that statement (as you probably have also). And it took being on both sides for this post to come to fruition. It took standing on both sides of the fence, examining the greenness of the grass on each side, to receive this revelatious thought: God so LOVED the world.

There is in fact quite a large difference between being polite towards someone, and being loving towards them. This is very easily understood with a short trip to the nearest fast food restaurant. You walk in and are greeted with kind manners and gestures (well….most of the time…..all bets are off during lunch rush), the tone in conversation is of a tender manner, and their actions seem to be for your every benefit. Until the next customer comes in. It is then you realized that while you were treated very well, they we're and are simply being polite to you. The love wasn't felt, so to speak. (And I do realize there is a bit of a flaw in the example, as there are servers and hosts out there that go above and beyond politeness). It's pretty easy to discern the difference between being loved, and being treated with manners. We can all tell apart the people in our life who are polite to us (which, let me be clear, is not a bad thing), and the people in our life who are profoundly compassionate towards us. And so can the world.

God, seeing the sorrowful state of His love, His beautiful creation (us…for those keeping score at home), devised a plan to bring us back to redemption. And with every effort, He pursued (pursues) us. Giving everything, God offered His Son Jesus to take the punishment for the things we deserved. And when we accept and believe in God's loving redemption plan for our lives, we are granted eternal life! That's an example of love, especially as a Jesus follower, that doesn't hurt to be reminded of. And as Jesus followers, we are called to "LOVE our neighbors." Here's the thing though, some people are easier for us to love than others. Here's what I want you to do; make a list of all the people in your life who needed to feel God's love in 4 areas of life: School, Work, Home, Other, in order of easiest/most comfortable to get along with to hardest/least comfortable. Let's take Work for example. At the top of your list might be a co-worker you've worked with for a long time, or maybe a customer you've dealt extensively with and built up a strong relationship with. No doubt, for a lot of you, at the bottom of that list would be "that" co-worker…..or your boss :P ….just kidding….(maybe). As you create and examine your lists, you'll soon see that the people at the top of your list probably seem much more approachable and loveable (remember, the real kind) than those at the bottom. As I was pondering my list, and determining who at the top I would let God use me to love into next (ha…silly me for thinking like that!)…..I had this though: "Ya know, I probably wasn't exactly at the top of the "approachable and loveable" list when God came looking for me." Hmmmm….oh boy, here we go. Buckle up J